Time to be a grownup

August 11, 2013

Self-effacing public accountability time here.

Maintaining this blog fulfills several different purposes:  as a personal journal for me to record highlights & thoughts to reflect back upon later; as a means to update friends and family with what’s going on with me cycling-wise and fitness-wise; as a means to seek out and find others of like mind (and, still pleasantly surprising to me, to bring inspiration to folks earlier on their personal journey than I am); and finally, to provide some public accountability.

My 12-month streak of losing weight every consecutive month came to an end in August.  After 12 months of weighing in lower on the first of the month than I had the prior month, I was a few pounds up in August.  SOME of this was, I’m sure, attributable to adding a little muscle during the tough (for me) week that was RAGBRAI.  But that certainly wasn’t the entire picture.

My eating during the month of August was among the poorest in recent memory.  I, like many obese and formerly obese folks, have a tendency / weakness to become a stress eater; and while I live a pretty simple, and fortunate, life, I have in fact been experiencing a fair amount of stress lately and it expressed itself in my diet.  My old nemesis of Dairy Queen, aka The Throne of Satan, welcomed me into its leathery winged arms waaay more in August than I’d have preferred.

Time to become a grownup, I recently mused to myself.  I have some very ambitious cycling related goals over the next two years, and achieving them will require being diligent, focused, disciplined and consistent.  I can’t allow my diet and exercise plan to wane for stretches as long / as frequently as they have recently.

It won’t be easy for me.  Anyone reading this blog who has struggled mightily with weight knows that, as I’ve stated previously in these pages, you are ALWAYS “recovering” from it; you are never “recovered”.  It’s a battle you must wage – and win – day in, week out, month in, year out.  The lies you tell yourself – or that the specific foods that particularly tempt you tell you and make you believe – are incongruous with achieving this dedication, and at an absolute MINIMUM make it harder on yourself to achieve what you set out to.

This last is the main point, for me.  I’ve been in many stretches of “three steps forward, two back” (or sometimes four back) since I began losing weight. Always in these times, I assure friends and family that there’s no doubt in my mind I WILL “get there” (while “there” is often hard to define, which will present its own challenges in due time) but that the question is simply one of just how hard I’ll make it on myself before I do so.  Lately I’ve been making it mighty hard, after a very successful run.  Again, time to become a grownup, put away foolish habits, and get back on course.  I’ve successfully done so over the last few days, and by the grace of God will continue to do so.  Again – high expectations that I have of myself fitnesswise, and it’ll take hard work.

 

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